Cultivating Young Hearts

So, what a nice surprise I received two days ago. My wife Joy informed me that she had been designing and is prepared to start a blog of her own. I always thought she looked at me as a bit of a rube for even having a blog but I guess I was actually influnicing her to do great things (please don't burst that bubble of mine). She is going to focus her blog on her quest to serve God through raising children as a Godly and holy mother. I know it will be great and useful to other Christian parents as she is smart, devoted, and deeply spiritual. Notice I didn't put funny (my wife is not funny even though she really thinks she is). I hope she will use it as an avenue to share the growth of our three sons and I look forward to reading it often.
So, please check it out by clicking this link to her first post that explains her reasoning behind the blog. I am adding a link to my blogroll on the right of this page. The address is cultivatingyounghearts.blogspot.com

The Reverse Hypocrite Golfer

I was fortunate to get to go on a golf outing yesterday with my family and two great friends and their family. We were set to tee off at 5:00 and Joy dropped me off at the golf course about 3:30 then she and the boys went shopping with plans to return later and then we would all go out to eat. I hit range balls for half an hour and teed off by myself at 4:00 just to play a few and get warmed up. When I met up with our friends Jason, Amber, and Maddy at 5:00 I told Amber that she was in trouble (she is the only one of my friends I can really compete with, make fun if you want) today. I believed it too. I got in six holes between 4:00 and 5:00 and shot 2 over par. That is remarkable for me these days.

So, to cut a long story short, I ended up shooting a 53 on the front nine (I still beat Amber though, YES). I couldn't hit my driver and I left every putt I hit way short of the hole. I walked off the course wondering WHAT HAPPENED? How did I go from playing so good by myself to playing like trash when my friends and family were around?

This really bothered me to the point that I found myself thinking about it today while I cut the grass. As I thought though, I realized that this is exactly how I need to be leading my life and how opposite to how I used to live. Growing up as the child of a preacher I lived a life of being on my best behavior and acting like a Christian when everyone was looking, but allowing myself to give into sin and live life in a horrible fashion when no one else (so I thought) was around. I fear that there are many people who live this lifestyle. People who proclaim to be one thing but in secret they are totally different. I can remember vividly the day that I decided to stop living this way and looking back I can't believe I ever fooled myself into thinking I was happy. There is a name for people like that, it's called a hypocrite.

My golf game is the exact opposite. As a matter of fact, my golf game is a mirror of how I think Christ wants us to be. Be good by yourself; play well, live well, serve well. This is no fun though because no one can see us doing these great things and who is there to brag about us or to brag to. If you his a hole-in-one while golfing and no one sees it, did you really hit a hole-in-one? If you make someone happy by simply being nice to them and no one sees it did you really make someone happy? If you help an elderly widow keep her grass cut and no one sees it did you really help her? The answer to all those questions is of course YES!!! How many of us know people who do Christian deeds and then say, "look at me, I'm so great?" I'm pretty sure Christ talked quite a bit against this kind of attitude. We must try to live our lives when no one is looking in a clean and Christian fashion to avoid being a hypocrite.

Further, Christ set up a plan so that when we are with other Christians we have the right to show our flaws and ask for their help. Jason told me yesterday he was going to help me in my chipping and I responded "PLEASE do." I haven't ever asked him for help because of pride (that's another story) but I know he will help me if I ask. If you are struggling with secret sin, it is your responsibility to ask for help and not be afraid to admit that you are a human and that you make mistakes. Besides, on the day of judgment, all of your secrets will come to light. There are no secrets on a golf course when others are watching. You either do it good or not and for most of us, it's a matter of not always. It is impossible to be a hypocrite on the golf course when others are watching.

So, I challenge all of you to begin living your lives like I golf. I can't believe I just wrote that but I mean it. When no one is looking, be your best and try your hardest. Focus on what is important to you and give glory to God alone when you do well. Focus on what you are trying to accomplish don't be afraid to take a mulligan and try again. Don't brag when you do good and don't expect others to notice. Always be yourself when you are around others and don't be afraid to let others see your flaws. Be transparent (thanks Jason). There are very few who do great alone and with others so understand that and be happy that you can look up to those people. This is the very opposite of being a hypocrite so live your Christian lives as a reverse hypocrite golfer. FORE!!!!

Blunder Dad

Luke lost his second tooth Friday night as he was trying to open a McDonald's toy with his teeth (NO, NO). As he said his prayers that night he asked God to take care of the Tooth Fairy and not let her get lost on the way to his house.

SPOILER ALERT: The tooth fairy is not real. Sorry to all of you who may still believe that but I have to say that before I go on.

The last thing Joy said to me that night was, "don't forget to put money under Luke's pillow." Well, the next thing I knew both of my sons were leering over me in my sleep scared to death because of the torrential down pour of rain outside. That's right, I fell asleep before I put money under his pillow and removed the tooth. I did not think about it when they woke me in the night but it was my first thought that morning and Joy made sure to make me feel even worse about it(thanks Joy) reminding me of Luke's sweet prayer. What was I to do?

I then remembered the fact that at some point during the night a huge rain came through. HA HA. I explained to Luke that maybe the tooth fairy could not make it because of the rain. To those of you who have seen Bee Movie, you will remember how hard it is for bees to fly in rain, I bet it's the same for the tooth fairy. He was very understanding and agreed with my assessment of the situation.

Do I feel guilty about this, NO, not at all. If you want to make me feel guilty you must first answer me one thing. Is it worse to stretch reality about there being this magical fairy who collects teeth (GROSS by the way) or to stretch reality about why this enamel loving nymph can not always make it on time?

Needless to say, the tooth fairy came Saturday night and paid up, with interest. I have already had thoughts about how glad I will be when all this tooth pulling business is over but ironically I was randomly reminded of how much longer we have to go. As we ate dinner last night with friends from church and some of our youth group this one girl who is 13 just out of the blue said she only had four more baby teeth to lose. 13!!!!!! and four to go.

Communication in Marriage

Last night some married couples from our church began a six-week course of study on communication in marriage. First of all, thanks to Jason Jarrett for organizing and moderating last night's session. It is so nice to be around fellow Christians who reaffirm the fact that it is not just your marriage that has these problems. I love the Lord for the gift he has given me in my wife and in my children and I have no desire to do anything more than to lead my family spiritually. I wish I had had that goal from the beginning of my marriage with Joy. I have to say that this whole communication thing is difficult because I try to help very troubled, despondent, and sad individuals daily at work whose stories and situations make you just want to cry. I do not feel it would be appropriate to burden my wife with these stories or how sad I feel for many of these people so I rarely talk to my wife about my job. She knows that I feel this way and I think she respects that. On the other hand, my wife likes to tell me about her day most days and it makes me feel good when she does because it reaffirms our trust in one another to me. It's the days when she doesn't tell me about her day that worry me. I'm like "what did I do, are you mad?" Being married is great and I love my wife but communication is so hard. I hope that all who are reading this will take a close look at the communication in your marriage and try and improve any holes or barriers that you see in the communication with your spouse.
God Bless