Tuesday, August 19, 2008

On an Island

You ever felt like you were the only one in a place that fully grasped the reality of right and wrong? I had that experience today. Without diving into too much detail, I will try and briefly explain the situation. My co-worker at work has to give a presentation on the same date as my son Luke's birthday. Being somewhat technologically savvy, this person is sort of dependent I do not mean that word in a negative sense) on me to make sure that the technical aspects of the presentation go as they hope. As I learned of the clash of dates today I informed this individual that should for some slight (note slight) reason my son be out of school on that day, I would more than likely not be able to attend the presentation as I would want to spend that time with my son(s) and wife. After all, I will probably only get 18 or so of these chances in his lifetime. You would have thought that I had slapped this person in the face. Here I am trying to be not just a good father who is involved in his children's lives and who puts them only after God (the two go hand-in-hand in my opinion) as I am commanded to do and suddenly I am looked upon as if I am the worse person in the world. I understand that their need and trust in my ability to make sure things go well is ultimately a compliment but I explained that I can easily show someone how to do the things that need done and reminded this person that there was only the slightest of possibility that I would not be able to attend. Note that I am a therapist, not an IT specialist. After no headway was made, I eventually had to just put it as simply as I could. I had to actually say, as if it was not known by the way I live my life, "My family's needs will always come before your needs." This comment was labeled as offensive, I labeled it as simply true and left the meeting feeling frustrated, yes; abandoned by a peer, yes; misunderstood, yes; alone, NO. I simply left for lunch and prayed. I know I was in the right but was made to feel as if I had some obligation that requires me to take more time away from my family than I already do. The following verses seem to sum up the situation to me:
James 3:16-17 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
This person did not have my best interest at heart but seemed to be seeking after their own interest. I hope that one day they will see that my words and actions are only meant to avoid being seen as a hypocrite. How can I say I am a Christian father unless I live as one? I recently listened to a lesson that discussed the fact that in all our lives something has to be sacrificed to get the things done that we are called on to do. Let me never again sacrifice my family and their needs for someone else's gain.
As the day progressed and fear of vindictive action crept and were noticed by the obvious silence that was sent my direction I asked God to just help me make it through the day and return safely to those who do truly care about not only me because of what I can do for them, but my soul and my goal to be a Christian father and leader first in my life. The day finally ended and I got in my truck to return home but God placed something else on my heart. The Holy Spirit reminded me that a friend's/ fellow Christian's mother was in the local hospital and that I should stop by on my way home. I went and enjoyed their fellowship for a while and all negative feelings left me and as I prayed with them I thanked God for giving us all reminders that we must call on him.
I have since looked at the school calendar and found that I will be able to help on the date and I intend to inform this person of this news first thing tomorrow. I pray that God will lead this person to understand and that this will actually turn into an opportunity to minister to this individual. Mostly, I pray that this person will understand that my desire to put my family and their needs first is nothing personal but that I am trying to do it because I am commanded to do so. If not, I will be fine as I know I am living to serve the Lord. Pray for me.

1 comment:

Matthew said...

Hope all goes well and the Lord opens the door wide for you.