Freud & Faith by Richard Beck

Over the past couple of weeks I have been privileged to read Richard Beck's series of writings regarding the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud and his theories effects on Christian faith in America. These postings are fantastic and I have really enjoyed reading these and contemplating the questions Beck poses. Beck is a professor at Abilene Christian University and operates the blog Experimental Theology. These are well worth your reading.

I am going to post part 5 of this series in its complete form for you to read here and provide links below to the rest of the six-part series. I hope you enjoy:

Freud & Faith: Part 5, The Best Parents in America

We live in an culture, in America at least, that is both child-centric and nurture-obsessed. Interestingly, American Christianity has fully embraced these cultural emphases. American Christianity has made the parental nurture of children its defining witness to the world. This is a strange move to make given Jesus's consistent marginalization of family love. That is, Jesus doesn't place storge (love of family) at the center of his Kingdom vision. Rather, Jesus's focus is on what the Greeks called xenia (love of the stranger/outsider; hospitality). This downplaying of storge in favor of xenia is clearly illustrated in Jesus's teaching. Two examples:

Matthew 5:"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Luke 14:Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

As we reflect on all this, we might ask: Given Jesus's clear and consistent teaching, how did Americans and American Christians come to place so much emphasis on family love?

Some of the answer has to do with Freud.

As noted above, American culture is child-centric. This is a unique cultural stance, historically and globally. Most cultures have tended to place adulthood at the center of culture, especially the elderly. Americans, by contrast, have inverted this widespread emphasis. The elderly in America tend to be marginalized and discounted. The elderly are not deferred to or respected the way they are in other cultures. Rather than respecting old age and wisdom, Americans idolize youthfulness and childhood. The children are our future. They are the prized possessions. Babies are our idols.

Freud was significant in this shift of focus (from Jesus's culture to our own) in that Freud was the first influential thinker to devote significant attention to the role of childhood upon adulthood functioning. Freud's detailed theory of the psychosexual stages of development was unprecedented. Further, Freud detailed the way family relationships between parents, siblings and children can affect development, for good or ill. For Freud, the secret to who I am today is to be found in the past, in the early experiences of family and childhood.

This idea--the child is the father to the man--is so widely held that we fail to note how revolutionary it was when Freud began placing family life under the microscope. True, prior to Freud many acknowledged the importance of childhood. But Freud's analysis and theory revealed just how much could get screwed up during those years. Suddenly, childhood became very, very fragile. Parents could really mess things up. Kids could get ruined very easily.

Overnight, parenthood became a minefield. One had to tread carefully. Kids won't spontaneously recover from bad parenting. Thus, great skill was required. The Better Parenting obsession and industry was born.

Into this mix a uniquely Christian spin was created: Perhaps, in this post-Freudian parenting milieu, Christians could distinguish themselves from "the world" by showing that they love their kids more than anyone else loves their kids. By loving their kids more, by being the best parents in America, Christians might become a witness to the world.

Now, this isn't intrinsically a bad notion. I think it's great that Christians try to be wonderful parents. I know I try. But I think there are some risks to this strategy.

First, it's lopsided. The mass effort to love our kids more and show the world that we are the best parents in America is routinely done at the expense of, well, loving the world. We've replaced xenia with storge. That is, by having Norman Rockwell family meals we often fail to invite the people on the street to our tables. Family life becomes an idol.

Second, by priding ourselves upon being the Best Parents in America we come off as holier-than-thou. That is, on purely pragmatic grounds, the goal of loving our families as a witness to the world just isn't working. We look selfish, self-interested and self-absorbed. Instead of washing the feet of the world we read parenting manuals and pride ourselves on reading bible stories to our kids at night. All good, but annoying to outsiders. We need to do more than this.

In short, Freud was integral in creating new modern emphases, concerns, and neuroses about family and childhood development. We've all, the church included, imbibed these cultural trends. Thus it is important to step back and ask again, "What is the truly counter-cultural move?" How do we, in this post-Freudian climate, embrace robust and healthy families while opening ourselves to lives of hospitality and service to others? How does xenia as well as storge come to typify Christian living?

Because Freud has affected us far more than we've realized.
Posted by Richard Beck

Links to the rest of this Series

Freud & Faith: Part 1, Insight

Freud & Faith: Part 2, Pants

Freud & Faith: Part 3, Sex & Aggression

Freud & Faith: Part 4, The Potty

Freud & Faith: Part 5, The Best Parents in America

Freud & Faith: Part 6, O God, Our Mother & Father

Where Was God In This?

Let me preface my comments by saying that I by no means intend for this to be insulting or mean-spirited. What I will write is nothing more than an observation and is not an observation of the subject, but of this world in general.

I just finished watching the story of Randy Pausch's last days prior to his death. If you don't know, Randy Pausch is the man who is famous for delivering a very inspiring and touching final lecture when he found he was dying of cancer. If you do not know the story simply Google "The Last Lecture." It is a very moving story and should be shared. I truly feel sorry for his wife and their children and if by some strange chance you are reading this, I would ask you to stop now.

As I watched this very well put together memorial to Randy I noticed that he held many things in his life close to his heart that I do. His family was obviously very important to him as well as how he positively affected the world around him. However, as I sat and watched something became apparent to me halfway through the memorial. I had not heard God, faith, belief, or Christ mentioned once. I am not saying they weren't but if they were, I missed it. At that point I began really listening for any semblance of belief in anything other than the strength of man. What I heard was multiple swear words and a man and wife who think/thought they had it all figured out. I make no assumption of this man's faith in God, but I can say that I have not seen it. It could be that the editor of the memorial edited all those parts out, but I think back to the now famous "Last Lecture" and I can not recall faith in God being a prevalent theme. To many, Randy Pausch's story represented something good in this world, but to me it represents what is wrong.

At the end of the piece was an interview with Randy a few days before he died. There he sat, scared and dying. Yet, he continued to rely only on himself and his strength. I at this point was dumbfounded that this man, who has been at the crest of eternity for months now, still found himself strong enough to handle this problem on his own. How sad and if my assumption is correct, I grieve for his soul. This man was given an opportunity to teach a message of hope and salvation and of eternal life but his story ends with nothing more than a resounding reminder of how helpless we truly are. Again, his strength was admirable, but how much could he have done for the kingdom during his pre-death media blitz. Now, there is no epilogue of hope to his story, just an ending. While to many their final memory of this man is his message of how to live life, to me it is one of how truly weak I am without Christ and God. The memorial showed multiple interviews with family and friends who talked about how strong Randy was but no mention of where he drew his strength from. I firmly believe that this man was convinced that he needed no strength other that his own and just as the serpent fooled Eve in the garden that reliance on her own wisdom was the only thing necessary, Randy was fooled too.

Again, I hope that I am wrong and if you know of error in my thinking, I implore you to comment and correct me. Until that time I will grieve over the fact that many churches are using this man for inspiration and teaching. I think his language alone when faced with eternity would void such but again, that's simply my opinion. I ask all of you to not lean on your own knowledge and thought for strength but instead follow the example of the Psalmist in the 71st Psalm who writes;

15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness And Your salvation all the day, For I do not know their limits. 16 I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only. 17 O God, You have taught me from my youth; And to this day I declare Your wondrous works.

How nice would it have been to hear Randy Pausch declare God's wondrous works.

In conclusion, Randy ends his last lecture by stating that his message was for his children. I still don't know what message that was. I only wished that Randy knew that the message we should be able to leave our children has already been written for us. Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Can you leave that message in truth with your children today?

Why Wait?

Beginning in the last week of June I have seen the power of prayer in my life and other believers’ lives. Needless to say I have thought a great deal recently about the power of prayer and the Christian duty I have to pray. I am going to keep my thoughts here as brief as possible in order to avoid ranting.
I will start this with a question. How often has someone come to you and told you about a problem they are having and your response was, "I will be praying for you." Now, how many times have you followed through with that? How many times have you failed to pray for that person? Do you feel guilty over it? Have you ever even thought about it? I must confess that I am guilty of this. I have told people that I would pray for them and never even thought about it again. I feel safe in thinking that I am not the only one. Oh the excuses we have for this. Either we are too busy and it slipped our mind or they seemed to be fine when you left them. Besides, they may have gotten better so it didn't really matter did it. Why do we do this? What causes us to lie to one another in this way and let each other down? Why do we withhold the mercy that was given to us? It could be because we are only humans but I prefer to think that it is because, as my friend Jason Jarrett says, WE REALLY JUST DON'T CARE. We are too selfish to care for one another enough to remember to pray for each other as we are commanded to do. Jesus Christ Himself took time to pray for His current disciples and those of us to come when he was facing his own death and we can't remember to do it when we are facing nothing but an 8:00am tee time. I can think of no word to describe it other than pathetic.
So, I am resolved to no longer be guilty of this offense. I challenge all of you to join me in this solution as well. First, another question. When faced with a scenario where someone talks to us about a problem and either does or does not ask for prayers, what stops us from dropping whatever it is we are doing at that moment and praying with that person? Admittedly I did not closely study this before posting but I can recall no scenario where Jesus or his disciples put off offering to help someone in need. Never do we read of Jesus saying "I will keep you in My prayers." If someone had the faith to come to Him, Jesus would stop what he was doing and assist that individual. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe that we must stop praying for people in private but rather praying with them in public, at that moment. Again, what stops us from doing this? Too busy? Too public? Worried they might not want that at that time? I can guarantee that if you take that individual by the hand and begin to pray, they are not going to stop you. We know the power of prayer, yet we refuse to share it. What merciless individuals have we become?
Some of us may feel too uncomfortable to do this. If so, you have a real problem with God. If you think that people who know you would be really surprised by you doing this, then you have a problem you must resolve with your Lord and Savior. If doing this would be surprising to many because they did not know you have such faith, it's time to make a change. If you just feel too embarrassed to do so, then you are not being a disciple because you are not denying yourself. Instead you are denying the mercy of Christ to someone in need. What better way to show our faith then this? I ask you if you are reading this to pray for me that I will do better in this area and that I will not put people's requests for prayers off and risk not praying for them at all. Just suppose that a miraculous occurrence comes about in a person's life after you pray with them. What a wonderful opportunity for ministry. Or better yet, suppose that your example of faith causes that individual to drop to their knees too at that time or alone and they either make a decision to become a Christian or to restore their walk. Then they tell you later that it was all because of your willingness to share your faith. All because, as my friend Randy Hargett says, you showed them the face of Jesus through your willingness to deny yourself and share your time with God with them. It's time to start caring enough to make a difference. Will you join me in doing this? What a difference we can make if we will just start caring.

Can God have faith in me to love Him?

Genesis 1:26 - Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;…

Often times when we read this verse, we think about the word image and we read image, or some versions say likeness, and our minds take us to the physical sense of the word. We think, God must look like me, have a face, a body, a brain. However, there is another definition of the word image that we often fail to apply to this verse and that is the definition of a mental representation; image; conception. This is hard to do because to do so would mean that I am a representation of God’s imagination. I am something that God imagined, expected to be a certain way, and have the traits that God wants me to have.
When we use our imagination what is it we really imagine? If you believe any of the theories of developmental psychology, we all have a part of us called the ego, also known as the unconscious. Inside that unconscious is what we want ourselves to be, what we feel or learn is what would be the perfect self. In other words, God’s image. At our best, we are the greatest that God could imagine and everything that He sees good in himself. Yes, the universe is vast, the earth is great, the butterflies are beautiful, but we are the best he could imagine.
To me, this means that God put in me everything about himself that he likes. Every feeling, every quality, and every emotion. We know that God feels anger. God feels jealousy. God feels sadness. God has hope that we will all live to please him. But the two most precious gifts that God gave me the ability to do is the ability to love and the ability to have faith. God gave me the ability to take a part of my brain and use it to say, no matter what happens there is something bigger than me and something that will always guide me through my life and because of that I love this being that I cannot touch, I cannot hug, and I cannot see. Yet, I love Him so very much. How extraordinary.
Knowing that God imagined me and I am, that means that he wants me to do something in this flesh. God wants me to be like him and to love him. God wants that and he went to the furthest links that anyone could go to in order to make sure that I love him because he first loved me. I cringe to think about how much sadness God must feel every day over the fact that so many people that he created and molded don’t love him back. Think back to the first time you were turned down for a date. You thought you loved that person and when they did not want you back remember how that felt. Now multiply that by millions and millions and millions and then you may be able to see just a glimpse of the hurt we as humans make God feel.
Not many people, including myself, know this but I used to be a bit of a heartbreaker. As I was trying to think about what to speak about at church tonight my father relayed a story to me when I went to pick my kids up from his house today. He informed me that when he called a physician in another town today that upon hearing his name (I am my father’s namesake) the receptionist mistook him for me. When hearing his age, she realized that it must be my father and promptly told him that she used to be in love with me but I never knew it because she was too timid. He didn’t get her name so I don’t know who this is nor can I think of any girl who expressed interest in me in my “formative” years that I didn’t promptly pay attention to. As I thought about this though and began writing this document again, I put the two together. How sad I must have made her feel by not noticing her or realizing that she was, as she put it, “in love” with me.
Fortunately, we serve a God who will notice and expects our love. A God who knows that numbers of hair on each of our heads. Let us make sure that God KNOWS we love him every minute of every day.
The second half of this deals with faith. I have faith in God and watching what happened to famous radio personality as he lost his son this past weekend and how he reacted and used it as a call action by God has only strengthened my faith in God. However, and I might be wrong for doing this, but I have found myself wondering the past week or two, does God have faith in me? If you take this question on its face the obvious answer is “yes, God knows you are there, he invented you.” But does God believe in me that no matter what comes my way I am going to stand firm for him as he does for me? Does God have faith in me? Am I not being given the opportunities to spread the gospel to the amount of people that I want to because God still lacks faith in me.? Is my church not growing because God doesn’t have faith in me or my congregation to handle the responsibility found in the great commission?
I go to the Bible for my answer. Mark Chapter 11 verses 12-14 and 20-24 shows us Jesus with his disciples when Jesus sees a fig tree. Jesus approaches this fig tree with hunger, hoping to find sustenance. The tree is leafy and shows promise but when Jesus looks upon the branches, he finds no fruit. The story continues to show Jesus cursing the fig tree and it withering away. Jesus takes this opportunity to teach his disciples a great tail of faith.
Let’s put ourselves in the place of that fig tree. Many of us claim to be Christians simply because we have accepted Jesus Christ as out Lord and Savior and attend church regularly. Some of us may even take active roles in our church services and leadership. You may appear leafy and beautiful on the outside and if you are bearing fruit, but when these leaves are lifted, what will be found. Have you bore any fruit?
Sure, those of us who are parents can say, “I have raised my children to be good Christians and to have faith in Jesus,” but is that the only fruit you have bore? How good is your fruit? When Jesus comes to take those children to start their own independent ministries and Christian walks, will this fruit be good? Can God have faith that you as a parent bore good fruit or have you let him down? It also seems that it would be unacceptable that once those children are picked from your care that you no longer bring forth fruit or have more fruit there already. If you look at the time when your children are gone as the end of your responsibility as a Christian or spiritual guide, you will find yourself withering away because you are no longer showing God that he can have faith in you to continue adding to his kingdom.
What about Sunday school teachers and class members? Can God have faith in you that as a whole, you are a fruitful tree? When one of you move away or change classes or simply fall away, can God have faith in your group continuing to ripen and the fruit you helped develop will seed into a new tree? Can God have faith in you?
When you ask yourself why does God not send me more opportunities to deliver the message of Jesus you should ask yourself if God can have faith in you to do this great work?
When you ask yourself why God does not help you relieve some of your financial burden, can you say that God can have faith that you will use monetary blessings to advance his kingdom.
When you ask yourself why your church does not grow through God sending you more opportunities to minister to people seeking him, can you say that God can have faith that your church will lead wanderers closer to Him?
These are all tough questions to ask but even tougher to answer. Only you really know that answer. Only you can look at the fruit (or lack there of) you are bearing and examine it for acceptability for God when he comes looking for those to place into service next.
I will conclude with an example from my clinical practice. I had a client about six months ago tell me that he does not pray anymore because he does not think God would listen to his prayers due to the wrongs he has done. After trying to teach him about the forgiving nature of God, I diagnosed him with the DSM IV disorder Spiritual Confusion and formulated parts of his treatment plan around this. In the six months since this has happened, he has come quite a long way in his spiritual life and is actually attending church and is stronger in his faith. As he discussed this with me today, I was quietly congratulating myself and telling myself, “job well done.” Then, out of nowhere he states that it is all due to his sister helping him with this problem and inspiring him to do better. I felt actual disappointment. This was a sin for me to feel this way. Satan allowed pride to creep into my head and when that ego was not stroked, I was crushed. Crushed over someone coming closer to God, but not giving me credit. I have since asked God to forgive me and prayed for similar opportunities to refine this aspect of my life. As I delivered there thoughts tonight in my church, I revealed this sin to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and I hope they all can learn from my mistake.
I tell that to make this point. I believe that God allowed this to happen to me today so that I could see an area where he may possibly lack faith in me. I learned from this instance that as long as I do not allow all glory to be given to God, I will never find happiness in helping someone in their spiritual life and I will eventually wither away because of my pride. This fruit may have blossomed on my branch, but I do not think that Jesus would want to come back to my tree for more fruit until I work this out with Him.